riflemind

let's just say, to be honest
it was me
not there, not here
not the bright
but all that...bottle
rocket petulance...
was it worth it?
another long white without
and yet, a dim glimmer
an ember of the plague year
sitting unsundered
in the deep purse of last fall

I didn't ask you about
the snow today
or the way the Heath looked different from each tree
a moustached man here,
a fallen squirrel there
tinkering at a forgotten nut

I didn't ask you about
Berlin or Copenhagen
or the Climate change agreements and their targets limits
a smaller factory here,
a starving child there
gnawing at a gravel bit

I didn't ask you about
Cancer, raptorous and divide
or the way that the news hit you there with him and them and I
a chill in the spine,
a harsh cut down the silence
that lay in you like sleep

I didn't ask you about
enough of the sad that welled
or the way you looked at me like I might not be
a beat beat beat away,
difficult, denuded, there
in your bed, your eyes

I didn't ask you
cause you said you were fine
and I didn't know any better and there's only so many
'Nothings' you can take before you stop asking
Are you okay? What's wrong? What should I ask?

...

I remember Olympus, shrouded magnificant
a rare earth privacy, our people always liked the cold -
it's the air up here, clearer cleaner
the thoughts of the teeming, a slash of smoke in the dawn
a candle-vigil set about a Feasting table
the Later-days they'll say, of Cair Paravel let to ruin
when a soldier tumbles through
and our temple-mount, the royal-seat that time
is rendered under a begger's dust, a matyrs cry to
detonate the inner sanctum and bury my cold
high place - an archeology of debt and a seeping
snap of lock and pick and chisel
make me whole, a 3d scan of my insides
revelling digital intimacy, a
demi-mode modelling agency for dryads
that's the coke way right? the neat dark
interior, the blocked up passage, a King-tut
dig, the threat of curses, the dark thrill of
looting your skulls baby
so I'll throttle-stop thunder nightmare,
rain a fire on unbeleivers, a good old fashioned
flood
break the high walls of Uruk, smash the Ianna Temple
fuck Ishtar, fuck her like a swan...
that's how you'll know us, Bull-formed
savage, stinking of cave-sweat, carcass - deer skin,
we're fallen, for now...

this can't continue now, can it?

Knah mernir, yegoor sirem

I feel you survived Տէր Զօր (Der Zor) somehow

Bayts, Mayreeg jan, seeroom em iren

Inch bes garelyeh Seerelis sirel?

Oh, Asdvajz im (my God), okneer injz (help me).

Mayreeg jan, nereer injz (forgive me), forgive me.

Of course you haven’t failed me.

(patience)… to be alive is to be patient. This land has given me new hope, a new
beginning. Today, park asdvajz (God be thanked)

bari luis Seerelis (goodnight)

and so why is that not enough?

yes (I) am







* after and inspired by torange-yeghiazarian