sometimes, okay, so - maybe - mostly...

Most of the time
It's well understood,
Most of the time
I wouldn't change it if I could,
I can't make it all match up, I can hold my own,
I can deal with the situation right down to the bone,
I can survive, I can endure
And I don't even think about her
Most of the time.

~ Bob Dylan - Most Of The Time


well, yeah, you know, he said it...

providor

You're not the girl you think you are,
They're not his shoes under your bed,
He'll take you places in his car
That you won't forget, no 

~ Crowded House

I'm sorry for myself- does it show?
there's all those, god-damn accidental
tempting photos...
a digital sieve for me to slide a fever
through and break rash assumptions.
I shouldn't be allowed to sit myself at this hour
tangled up a globule table reach and
type type - whilst you with him
wasting no time, what can I give you now?
I don't want to be friends...
 I don't think I can
do it, see you all new little packet life
slip slide a new one in, replacements come cheap
right, but not till that November...we didn't do anything...at the house
like it was that, all that, that bothered me
you did it anywhere...in front of -
a public spectacle I am, still - deep where they
say goodbye - just a ruined -
a soft-spot, collateral-wheel...cartilage...
wanna be what? chums?
fucking hell...there's a world of sorry's to happen first
before I cosy up to him again, crack a beer, crack a fist...
sure mate, I'd love another one (don't fucken touch me...
both of you)

on route

A Guinness rumble pedigree smoke black
and a top froth man-rant about the
unexpectations we tell you we have
(my hands are too cold to spell) and
I think on my way to see you,
something around the 3 month mark,
that maybe your hair's still long and
not the real short I fell in love with
when I was nearly 'Key Boy' and there
was a bloody great hole in the world.
Next I'm happy, the trench of personality and
decent to work - we were poor lecturers,
ex-1960, Hollywood school-boys on Madonna and a disco miss.
You'd often be along with mayhem
and he disappeared, the hair style,
the elaborate and don't you...but no,
they do things like further seminars,
I hope it's still paying - the patient walked through.
Because the three extensions, they sold to me,
it's a branch - the ward hasn't made a difference to us.
They just move lots of time -
that's probably why, there's problems
and...we're interested in,
yeah I mean, after my two weeks off,
finished Delta - to be a good teacher again.
Because I know I stood once
and those things are good for me.

so it seems I'm a rock to be broken on,
just a test
a tense tease to determine if
she's strong enough to -
and there's been a few
who've found me
eminently resistible
like I'm the sacrifice and the
surety that they're still
each his
and not
well...
and for a time I convince myself
to be the flattered party
and not the other way around
and I'll remember, must must remember,
not to give the true impression that
I'm all there, that she's right
and I'm the prize...

consecrated

it's...shaking after the first act
it's seeing the tiny curve of the left of your
it's ours during
and yours during...
and a laugh across a play
and it's seeing all the right notes
and it's the impossibility of tomorrow
and it's we three
drawing a line in, and...
forgetting that this is
the sweet desert
the arch of
and frisson